The crofters have been taking sheep to Oban on the mainland. When they get there the sheep are left with friends. Then the crofters return with the sheep in the car and say that the price was too low and they did not sell. They've actually just had a holiday and so has the sheep!

   "This was a short-term arrangement for a limited number of islands for a limited period," the CalMac spokesman said. "We are looking at alternatives for next year!"
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from 'The Bulletin', Volume 48, No.3, December 2004.

RADIO FOUR IS WONDERFUL !!!

   Ships in distress have always welcomed the power of prayer but the situation off Britain's North Sea coast took things a bit too far on 26th February, 2004. Coastguards found themselves tuned inescapably into BBC Radio4's 'Thought for the Day' along with 'Farming Today', 'Book of the Week' and other soothing material - when a clumsy crewman on a cargo ship jammed the emergency frequency with Radio4 for five hours.
   Nudging a handset button to 'on' without noticing, the freighter Victress served up the whole of the morning's 'Today' programme, as well as features on Sierra Leone and an undergorund bunker in the north London suburb of Dollis Hill. To make matters worse, the Victress's watch - whose desultory chit-chat could also be heard on the frequency - were apparently not listening themselves: appeals to them to switch the set off, put out by Radio4 at the coastguard's request, were ignored.
   "This sort of thing has happened occasionally before, but never for this long", said Colin Tomlinson, district operations manager for Great Yarmouth coastguard, who finally had to launch a lifeboat to intervene. The RNLI crew from Wells-next-the-Sea tracked the signals to the Victress, 10 miles off Norfolk, arriving just as a reading of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's autobiography was getting into its stride.
   "The signal was being carried on four of our aerials, effectively blocking any other emergency call," said Mr Tomlinson, whose only slight relief came when the shipping forecast was helpfully broadcast at 5.36am. "The problem started shortly after 5am and went on until after 9.50am when the lifeboat found the Victress and alerted the crew." !!!
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from 'The Bulletin', Volume 51, No.1 June, 2007

THE LADY LEFT HER COFFIN BEHIND
by Lt.Col. Frank Bustard, OBE
(This article originally appeared in Shipbuilding and Shipping Record, 7th May, 1959)

    When I was the White Star Line passenger traffic manager, my duties covered the control and supervision of the vast European office and agency organisation, including the sumptuous Paris office at 9 Rue Scribe. On one of my visits - it must have been around 1924 - I also called at the nearby freight office and adjoining this was a large baggage store containing trunks and cases - left for the greater part by American passengers touring Europe.
    Included in these impedimenta was an impressive wooden case that looked as though it might contain a sarcophagus, and sure enough that is what was inside, but by colleague - Eustace Smythe - assured me that there was no body. My nautural curiosity was aroused and explanations asked for.
    It appeared that one of the White Star Line's most regular first-class passengers, who came over each year to spend the summer in Europe, was a wealthy widow named Mrs Ravenal. This lady had a phobia that she might die and be buried at sea, and to guard against this possibility she brought over each year a magnificent walnut coffin with silver furnishings, stowed in a heavy lead container and all packed in a strongly timbered case. Mrs Ravenal's wish was that if she should unfortunately die while crossing the Atlantic, her remains would be embalmed by the ship's surgeon and returned to America in her 'casket'!
   This precaution went on for years and one can only imagine what it must have cost the lady, as the whole contraption weighed two tons and was shipped and paid for each time, not asa freight but as excess baggage. On arrival at Cherbourg it had to be slung overside into the baggage tender, lifted ashore and then conveyed by passenger train to Paris.
    Well, Mrs Ravenal was over in Europe in the summer of 1914, despite the threat of war. When war did break out in August there was a most unholy - but understandable - rush on the part of the Americans touring Europe to cut short their stay and return home. Mrs Ravenal was among them and she was found accommodation on the Olympic which left Cherbourg on 23rd August 1914. So far, so good. But it was absolutely impossible for the Paris office to ship Mrs Ravenal's 'casket' as the French railways refused to carry such impedimenta in time of war, and the Olympic sailed without the coffin.
    Whether its absence preyed on Mrs Ravenal's mind, I do not know, but the lady unfortunately died on the Olympic whilst the ship was at sea. However, her known wishes were carried out and her remains encased on one of the coffins always carried on the ship. In due course they were safely landed at New York, while the sarcophagus remained in Paris, the spiritual home of Americans in Europe   !
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